Episode 136: Mindset, the doorway to Healing

Episode 136 November 01, 2023 00:30:38
Episode 136: Mindset, the doorway to Healing
Integrative Lyme Solutions with Dr. Karlfeldt
Episode 136: Mindset, the doorway to Healing

Nov 01 2023 | 00:30:38


Show Notes

Join us in another episode of Interative Lyme Solutions. Today we talk again with The Lyme Boss herself, Heather Gray, not to share her story, but to talk about mindset. One of the things we discuss is the difficulty of trying to push someone that doesn't believe that they can get better, and how that can affect a practitioner.

You can follow and find Heather at:
Website: The Lyme Boss
Instagram: The Lyme Boss Instagram
Linktree: https://linktr.ee/thelymeboss
View Full Transcript

Episode Transcript

[00:00:01] Speaker A: Welcome back to Integrative Lime Solutions with Dr. Carl Feld. [00:00:05] Speaker B: I am so excited about the show that we have ahead of us. We have some phenomenal information that could save lives. I am Dr. Michael Carlfelt and with. [00:00:16] Speaker A: Me I have my co host Tanya Hobo. [00:00:19] Speaker B: You're going to need to tune in to what's going on today. The information is unpacked. So, yeah, don't step away. [00:00:29] Speaker C: So excited. Let's go ahead and get this started. Welcome to Integrative Lime Solutions with Dr. Carl Felt. And today's episode So during our Lyme journey, we have one of the good perks of having Lyme is the people that you meet along your journey. So my next guest, although we've never met in person, I'm honored to call her my friend. She does amazing work in the Lime community, which I'm so grateful for. And she has been on before to share her story. But today we're going to change things up a little bit. We like doing that sometimes, so she's not going to share her story with us again, but today she's going to talk all about mindset. So I'm super excited to have you back. We appreciate you coming back and spending some time with us. Heather. So, Heather Gray, welcome. Aka the Lyme Boss. [00:01:29] Speaker D: Hey, thanks for having me. I love it. I love switching things. [00:01:33] Speaker C: It's got we got to keep things exciting. [00:01:35] Speaker D: I love what you said about one of the gifts. I talk about that a lot, the gifts of Lyme disease. Right. Because really, once you can get into that better mindset and you can look back at it from a non kind of victim mentality, it's usually changing your life in some better way. I know. I can't even imagine where I'd be right now if it wasn't for this disease. That completely changed the trajectory of my life, right. [00:01:58] Speaker C: And not for the most part, usually not bad. Like the journey is bad and not fun. But the other side, it just opens up so many amazingly beautiful things and new people in our life. Yes, that is one of the few perks of it, but yes, I appreciate that part. [00:02:16] Speaker B: And I just love it when somebody puts her name as the boss. That's just awesome. I'm the boss of lime. [00:02:25] Speaker D: I don't know, hopefully I won't get it beeped or if I do, but that was going to be a tagline on the book. I still have to get my book out. And it's called I Told You I'm Not Crazy the Realities of Lyme Disease. And then the subtitle is going to be how I Made Lyme My Bitch or something along those lines. [00:02:39] Speaker B: That's awesome. [00:02:40] Speaker C: I would expect no other title from you, Heather, than just that, right. [00:02:47] Speaker D: We put some sort of cuss word in my original title episode with you guys, right. [00:02:51] Speaker C: I think that there were a few miss words yes. During that, which was all good. Like you said, we like to change things up, right? And we love it. That just your true vulnerable personality just comes out. That's one thing I'm sure many of your followers love about you. [00:03:10] Speaker D: I had a hard time stepping into that name lime boss, believe it or not, because I was like, wow, that's a statement, right? You're putting a flag in the ground right there. And, you know, a lot of us practitioners, clinicians, all kinds, we kind of go through that impostor syndrome type stuff here and there, right, of who the hell do you think you are? And blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So that's a mindset. It just ties back into that mindset thing, right? I had to go tell that voice to sit down and shut up. And I do know what I'm doing, and I've got all the wonderful testimonials, plus my own living proof to say that, yes, I know what I'm doing when it comes to Lyme disease. [00:03:50] Speaker C: Well, yeah, it's certainly a big title to fill, but I think you've done it quite well. [00:03:55] Speaker D: Thank you. [00:03:55] Speaker B: Yeah. And I think that's a key. And obviously I want to get into the mindset even more, which this is part of putting that stake in the ground and saying, this is me. This is who I am, and I'm rocking this, and you can't defeat me. You got to come with that energy instead of, well, not sure maybe I can do this. It's such a different power. And then your whole body, your neurotransmitters, your hormones, your immune system, your inflammatory signaling, all of that follows along with that thinking. So you kind of set yourself up for and the body just obeys what your mindset sets the stage. [00:04:44] Speaker D: You know, it kills me because still so many people are like, that woo woo, blah, blah, blah stuff, and research has proven it time and time again. And I just love there's two little examples, right? Like Louise Hayes from Know book company. She was an amazing pioneer on mindset type stuff and overcoming. I think hers was cancer, but I love the way she put it. She's like, you want to learn the power of the mind? Think of something that turns you on. Right? Tell me you don't have a physical response to your thoughts. Right? You've got a physical reaction going on to something you're thinking about. Or another one I like to do that's a little less racy, is imagine biting onto a lime, and then what happens to yourself? I'm talking right now, and my mouth is getting full. [00:05:35] Speaker C: Mine is true. You just have to say the word. [00:05:37] Speaker D: Yeah. Right? So it's been proven time and time again with athletes that have had electrodes to their brain and had them go through the motions of their performance and testing it and the same neurons and the same muscles and the same things fired as if they were actually out doing the exercise. So it's not woo woo anymore. We've had enough science and research to back this up, that mindset what you think about, controls everything else that goes on. And it frustrates. So when you're talking about that, putting that flag, staking that flag, it's no different. Getting better. That's actually one of the questions on my intake form, is, do you believe you can get better? Because if they answer with anything other than yes, I don't take them on. I have them cancel their appointment. Because all the best supplement in the world, all the best protocol in the world, all the best diet in the world can't overcome somebody's self limiting beliefs. If they don't believe they can get better, there is nothing I can do. [00:06:40] Speaker C: I almost want you to repeat that because it's so important. It is so important and it's so frustrating. [00:06:48] Speaker D: I had a couple recent discovery calls, and they were so bitter and they were so angry, and they've seen over 20 different practitioners and they've been sick for this long, and they've blah, blah, blah, blah, all the things right like the rest of us had to go through. And I'm going to validate your anger and I'm going to validate your sadness, and then we need to move on. We need to leave that story behind in order to get better. It's no different than leaving one bad, abusive relationship. You come into a healthy relationship, you drag all that baggage with you. How well do you think that's going to go over with your new partner? It's no different with a new practitioner, right? I actually kind of felt a little beat up by these folks. Like I had to prove myself. And they were just so angry and just so stuck in their ways. And it was sad because I could see the hurt and I knew where they were coming from, but I couldn't get through to them to let them know of hey. And finally I had to tell them. I didn't think we were going to be a good fit because, again, I'm better. I'm not going to try to push through your defenses to get yourself better. I am not going to drag you along. This is your journey. I've done my journey. I've done my work. Right. Now it's your turn. I'll be your guide, but I can't do the work for you. [00:08:02] Speaker C: And I always say that I can't don't know the exact words I say, but something along the lines that I can't be more in this than you are. Like, I can't want it more than you do. Absolutely. And I think that's important because the old phrase, what, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. And it's kind of true. And it's sad when you're not able to reach those people to help them, because they simply can't get their mindset right. [00:08:31] Speaker D: They can't get that guest I sat with it for days, and my husband could tell. He could see me at the dinner table just looking kind of sad because I know what I do can help them, but they have to believe that they can get better. And it is heartbreaking. And I've had to learn how to detach with love and kind of keep that healthy boundary, because that's one way that practitioners get burnt out, right, is trying to push that client along who's not willing to show up and meet. [00:09:03] Speaker B: Them halfway if they are in a mindset to kind of prove how horrible their situation is. And if they have all this hurt, have all this pain, and they want to really kind of show that to you and show how difficult this has been to you or to them. And so they're going to make that difficult for you to be able to do anything because they just want you to see how horrible it is, what they've gone through. And so to turn that, it's impossible. It's like trying to stop Titanic from sinking. I mean, you can't. [00:09:44] Speaker D: It was funny because the last woman who showed up that way, I did at the end of our discovery call, I said, I'm sorry, but I don't think we're going to be a fit. I don't want to be another one of those practitioners that you say that have taken your money and keeping you sick. So she was very big on like everyone was just shysters and everyone's out to get her. I said I didn't want to be another one on that list and I didn't think that we'd be a good fit. And she ultimately said, thank you. But like I said, I felt bad because I know where she was coming from. I know how hard this can be. I know how the brain inflammation, right, and how even a lot of the physiological stuff has a tendency to cloud a person's thinking. But like I said, at some point, and I know I had to and I know a lot of people had to, you had to kind of get to that rock bottom point of where you're tapping out and saying, okay, this isn't working. I need to do something different. [00:10:34] Speaker C: Yes, you nailed it right there. Because I know Heather, you see in all these lime groups as well, there's so many of them that literally just want to commiserate. That's all they want to do. They want to tell you how bad their life is, how broke they are, how taken advantage of they are. I get it. We can validate every single thing you want to complain about, but you can't stay stuck there or you're never going to get better and nobody can help you. [00:11:03] Speaker D: Hand it to me. When I first got into the Facebook groups, I was like, I'm going to help. I'm going to change the world. And then I would get in there and I'd see somebody spinning and I'd be like, try this, do this, blah, blah, blah. And they would give me an excuse and then another excuse, and then another excuse. And this happened a few times before I finally took a step back and went, whoa, these people actually don't want to get better. And boy, you say stuff like that and then you also use that word victim mentality and you get a lot of hate mail, but it's the truth. I actually just put out a reel the other day that said, what would happen if like, Thomas Edison quit after 20 tries of trying to invent the light bulb? Right? Because when these people are like, I've been to 20 practitioners, what if it was 21 is the one that has the answers for you, the one that can put all the pieces to your puzzle together, right. But you stopped just like those miners that would stop, right? Like in half an inch before they hit that gold vein, right? You hear those stories all the time. And I said, what is your option? Lay in bed and just die? What else are you going to do? That seems like a no brainer to me. Get up, dust yourself off and try again. And it's not that it's like for lost. Every single time you tried everything, you found another thing that doesn't work. [00:12:26] Speaker C: Exactly. [00:12:28] Speaker D: An elimination. Next. [00:12:30] Speaker C: Yes. Or maybe that didn't work at that time. Further down into your journey, don't negate what you tried. That didn't work because it may just be your ticket this go around. Yeah. [00:12:45] Speaker B: Because you have these people, those people are listening. And obviously we validate the journey for everyone. We're here to help and we want to kind of guide people through that journey. So if you had that group in front of you, what would be their next step? [00:13:08] Speaker D: That's a great question. Find some sort of brain retraining. Because nervous system regulation is absolutely crucial for this. And that was like the last part in my healing journey and it's the reason I kept relapsing, because the good functional practitioner, right, I followed the diet to the T. You want me in bed by ten, I'll be in bed by ten. You want me to exercise and take these supplements, no problem. And I would get better and then I'd keep relapsing. And I finally figured out that last little piece was a lot of the nervous system resetting, which is very common for folks with Lyme disease and mold toxicity because it flames the brain so much, which puts your nervous system in fight or flight. And you can't heal completely if you're in fight or flight. And a lot of folks, even with the mass cell activation stuff where they react to water, right? Part of the key is getting that nervous system calmed down. And so I like to start people off with things like DRNs or the Gupta or breath work or somatic experiencing work, EMDR tapping. And then I've been recently into the body code and motion code lately, which has been a really easy, awesome way to help move stored trauma out of different areas of the body without actually having to relive the story, relive the trauma. [00:14:27] Speaker B: Yeah, I agree. I have a dear friend. She's a leader in the integrative cancer space and dealing with mold. And it was not until she did the brain retraining she had to sell her house, moved into an apartment while they're building a new house, and get rid of everything possible. I mean, get rid of everything. And it was not until she did the brain retraining that her system finally was able to calm down enough so that she felt like her brain was somewhat functioning. [00:15:01] Speaker D: Absolutely. And they have to take it seriously. A lot of times, people are kind of especially I found a lot of type a personalities sick with chronic illnesses, and they'll go through, and they're like, it's just like another checklist. Check. I meditated today, check. I did my breath work today, check. I was one of them, right? And it wasn't until recently that I slowed down enough to actually be present with what it was that I was doing that a lot of the real magic came about. [00:15:33] Speaker B: So how would you describe the mindset that an individual would have if a person hasn't heard? I mean, we talked about the brain retraining, but then the mindset in mean, what should that look know? [00:15:49] Speaker D: It's funny. Dr. Joe Dispenza says if you want to change your personal reality, you have to change your personality. And I was against that at first because I was like, well, I'm not going to change who you know, it was a death of the ego. So, of course I fought it there for a while. But again, once I got to that rock bottom point, and I was like, I'll do whatever it takes to get better, and that's usually what it takes. It's like a form of brainwashing, unfortunately, because my whole life, I was told I was a freaking idiot, that I was stupid, that I was fat, that I was ugly, that I wasn't going to amount to anything, all those thoughts. And it was funny because I wasn't even aware that that's how I was talking to myself until my husband a couple of years ago stopped me in my tracks and said, stop talking to my wife like that. And I took a step back, and I was like, I didn't realize the stuff that was coming out of my mouth the way I was berating myself. And so now it felt kind of like a full time job there for a minute to catch each one of those negative thoughts and spin it and turn it around. Spin it and turn it around. Spin it and turn around. So it took a lot of practice, a lot of know. Dr. Joe Dispenza. You talk about free stuff. So if you like free stuff on YouTube, he has so many amazing, free guided meditations that kind of help you work through that work through looking at your old self, how you would typically react, and then stepping into your new self. And how do you want to react? How do you want to be in this world? What's your health like? What's your finances like? What are your relationships like? They're all. [00:17:26] Speaker C: Form of and, you know, a lot of people don't like, know, especially when you're talking type A personalities and all of that. People don't like change. And that phrase that you said from Dr. Joe Dispenza, a lot of people are like, yeah, I don't want to change my personality. Well, let me tell you, listeners, I don't care what you do. Lyme is going to change you, period. There's no way around it. So accept it sooner than later, and trust me, you'll be glad that you did because it just changes you, and not necessarily for the bad. Most of the time you turn into this amazing new person that you never dreamt of, but you have to be adaptable to change. [00:18:11] Speaker D: It's so funny, people all the time, when can I go back to dot, dot, dot? And I'm like, you can't, because it's so much more than just, I was bit by a tick that gave me Lyme disease. Usually there was something in play, right, terrain wise, in play for weeks, years, months, what have you before that led you to be a good host, right? Like I said, it's very rarely that a good, healthy, truly healthy person gets bitten and taken down that way. There's usually something else going on. And so, yeah, I love what you said about acceptance, too. You said the word acceptance, and that's another key piece to the mindset, part of healing lime. And it's not like acceptance of like, you throw your hands up in the air and like, I give up that kind of acceptance. But it's accepting where you are at any point in the journey and seeing the gifts and the blessings of it. I love God and I love the Bible. I'm not a total Bible thumper, but that is one of the parts that I love a lot about the teachings, is whether it's good or bad, thank me, be grateful for it. There's always some sort of a lesson. There's always something in there for you if you can stay in gratitude. [00:19:29] Speaker C: Yes. [00:19:30] Speaker B: And you have that where you have to let go of control or trying to. I mean, one is you're kind of grasping onto the life that you had prior to, and you're trying to hold on to that. And it's that kind of control and not letting go that makes it hard for you to move forward. And then also you have that the lime exists within a certain environment. You're talking about the terrain, but it's also then the emotional terrain in regards to the mindset. And so in order to be able then to shift that terrain, the emotional, physical, whatever that is, you then have to change. I mean, you can't have the same personality because it is that personality that supports existence of that Blime and how it's behaving. So now we need to change environment so it behaves differently. And that's why it's so important then to shift who you are. I mean, letting go of that ego absolutely. [00:20:35] Speaker D: And letting go of that victim mentality as well. I think that was the other reason why I actually picked the line boss name wasn't only to make that line in the sand for what I do for work, but also for myself, right. Because I'm human and I can fall down and I have low days and I can fall into that kind of pity party trap sometimes myself. And it was part of a mindset thing for myself because how would the boss show up? Usually my background, because it's a green screen, I have a background and it's got Wonder Woman in the background and that's part of who I channel. Right, because would Wonder Woman act like a sulking victim when it came to stuff like this or would she stand up and kick some ass? There's so many little tips and tricks and whatever works for you, whether imagining yourself as a superhero or whatever it takes. But again, in order to change your personality, personal reality, you have to change your personality. [00:21:35] Speaker C: Yeah, exactly. And I think that it's easy to fall into that victim mode. Not even take away lime and everything else. It's just easy to fall into that mode for anybody in life. Life can be tough. We don't always get handed the good cards. We look at some of these what I perceive as bad people, right, the murderers and all of these things, and it's like they just kind of skate through life and I'm like, I'm this good person, I believe I'm a Christian and why is God doing all of this? I can't tell you how many times I chewed him out. Like I was truly so mad at him and I couldn't understand why he was doing this to me. So it really is easy to fall into that. And like you mentioned earlier, Heather, it's okay to have a pity party every once in a know. We all have bad days, but the next day, get back up, get dressed and show up. And that's how it's going to happen. [00:22:39] Speaker D: Tell people all the time you have to fill your feelings because that's part of the reason why we were sick to begin with. A lot of these chronic illnesses have an emotional component that have been stuck down and it's shoved somewhere. So absolutely you've got to feel your feelings, but you can't live there. Our feelings, our emotions, we're one of the few species on the planet that's a gift and it's a barometer. It tells us like that old kids Game. Hot, Cold. I'm going in the right direction. I'm going in the wrong direction by how crappy I feel. If I'm feeling crappy and negative, I'm thinking the wrong things, right? I'm going the wrong direction. Flip that around and start thinking about things that make you feel joyful. That bring you up. The other day, I felt a little guilty because I took, like, half the day off, which is not like me because I'm a type A personality and a little bit of a workaholic, but I was just in a low, flat, funky mood, and I know damn well that anything I create from that energy is going to be crap. So it's just going to be a waste of time anyway. So why not go take a nap, do an Epsom salt bath, do some meditation, go meet up with a girlfriend for coffee. Whatever it takes to actually bring my vibration back up. Because that's where the juice is. That's where the magic is, right? That's where the healing is. That's where your intuition lies. Like the god frequency. All of that happens when you're in a higher vibration, not when you're low. [00:24:05] Speaker C: And I love that because we do we kind of get stuck. Whether it's that victim mode or you're fed up or you're just tired of taking supplements every hour on the hour. If you're in that mindset, take a step back. Whatever you need to do to clear things, get a whole new perspective, or you're just banging your head up against the wall. Like you said, you're in a crap mood. You're going to produce nothing but crap material. And so don't waste your energy. We don't have a lot of energy anyways when we're sick. So don't waste that good energy on battling something that you're not going to be able to win. If you can recognize that you're not in a good place today, not forever today or this afternoon, or a few hours, do something about it. And that's kind of the start of how you can kind of switch over your mindset to a more positive place. [00:25:02] Speaker D: When you brought up supplements. That's actually one thing I'll work with my clients on, because I used to be the same way. I'm like, oh, spending $500 a month on supplements? I got to choke down this handful of pills every day. Blah, blah, blah. And then I switched it to where? Holy cow. Thank God I can afford these beautiful supplements. And each one I would take, I would imagine them strengthening up my body, like powering it up like some sort of superhero, right? What a difference that makes on your physiological everything when you look at your supplements that way. From a burden and a chore. Same thing with any kind of my self care. I'm a self care queen now. I love my coffee enemas. I love my saunas. I love my skin brushing. Anytime I can take out to take care of me. It's amazing because I am my best return of investment. Right. There's no better way to invest time, money, energy than in yourself. [00:26:01] Speaker C: Yes. When you're throwing down all them supplements, that one, you don't want to take. Two, I'm full from drinking water, from taking these pills. Now I don't even want food. Two, it's a full time job to keep track of it, to how can I really even afford to buy all of these? Every single one of those things is negatively affecting you because of your verbiage, you're saying things about them. So, yes, I love that. Take those supplements and appreciate that you can afford to buy them. Like, Heather and I chatted a little bit before the show and I was telling her that I finally, after so many years, started back in the gym in January and I've been religious and faithful. I was out of town for a week and then I came home and woke up with a cold. So that's why I kind of sound the way I do right now. But I was laying in bed and I miss the gym. And the first several months, it was hard to get into that, but I would remind myself, there were so many days, Tanya, you couldn't walk, let alone get out of bed, and the gym wasn't an option. Now you feel amazing, get your butt out of bed and go to the gym because you can. And once you keep telling yourself those positive reinforcements, it comes naturally and you thrive on it. Like, I truly thrive on going to the gym. And I think I'm even feeling more so yucky because I haven't been to the gym in two weeks. But you do have to take care of yourself first. Don't overdo it. But yes, what you say to yourself, the things you say out loud, the things you think inside your body, it's affecting you in a not so good. [00:27:49] Speaker B: Well, Heather, I know you need to kind of head out and we so appreciate you coming onto the show again, and this is such an important discussion, the mindset, not only in regards to your state and your personality, but also obviously in your treatments. And I know, like with supplements, just because you take a pill doesn't mean that it magically is going to go exactly where it needs to go. So if you have a negative mindset, then the body is then going to fight those supplements and it's going to then kind of shift them in a way to neutralize the effect of the supplements. So to have that positive and kind of feel the power of them and really kind of bless them so that they go and do the job that they were meant to do, it's going to make the outcome so different. So thank you, Heather, for being with us today. [00:28:49] Speaker C: I so appreciate you coming back. And who know, we may have you back again. Miss Lime boss. [00:28:54] Speaker D: I'm always down. I'm always down. I've got lots of things to talk. [00:29:00] Speaker C: About, and we like to hear them. We need to hear them. So keep doing what you're doing and take care of yourself. But I don't need to tell you that. So thank you again so much. We appreciate it. We always enjoy our time with you. [00:29:11] Speaker B: Thanks so much. [00:29:19] Speaker A: You the Information this podcast is for educational purposes only, and it's not designed to diagnose or treat any disease. I hope this podcast impacted you as it did me. Please subscribe so that you can be notified when new episodes are released. There are some excellent shows coming up that you do not want to miss. If you're enjoying these podcasts, please take a moment to write a review. And please don't keep this information to yourself. Share them with your family and friends. You never know what piece of information that will transform their lives. For past episodes and powerful information on how to conquer Lime, go to integrativelimesolutions.com and an additional powerful resource, Limestream.com. For Lime support and group discussions, join Tanya on Facebook at lyme conquerors Mentoring lyme warriors if you'd like to know more about the cutting edge integrative of Lyme therapies My Center offers, please visit thecarlfieldcenter.com. Thank you for spending this time with us, and I hope to see you at our next episode of Integrative Lime Solutions with Dr. Carl Fell.

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